Counsellors warn social media can reduce years of family hurt to sides
Family estrangement between parents and adult children has become one of the most talked-about relationship issues of the past decade, according to Interrelate.
Changing views on mental health, personal boundaries and emotional wellbeing have made the issue more visible in Australia, the relationship services provider said.
Interest has grown again after reports about Brooklyn Beckham and his family. However, Interrelate says celebrity coverage can flatten complex disputes into a simple contest of blame.
Glen O’Hara, Interrelate’s Senior Counsellor and Clinical Lead, said people often assume family conflict has clear winners and losers. In his view, estrangement usually follows significant hurt that builds over many years.
“It’s never a clear heroes and villains situation, family relationships rarely work that way,” O’Hara said.
Cases where someone cuts contact with a parent or child are deeply personal and complex, O’Hara said. As a result, quick judgments from outsiders can miss the history behind the break.
Social media advice can oversimplify conflict
Conversation about “going no contact” has also become more common on TikTok and Instagram. According to O’Hara, those platforms have helped normalise discussion about mental health and boundaries.
At the same time, O’Hara warned that online advice can turn difficult family dynamics into black-and-white choices. He said people now increasingly look for answers in opinion-driven online spaces instead of professional and evidence-based guidance.
“Platforms like TikTok and Instagram have opened important conversations around mental health and boundaries, but they can also encourage very black-and-white thinking,” O’Hara said.
Interrelate has worked with Australian families for 100 years. Over that time, it has seen major shifts from post-war households and traditional family structures to dual-income families, blended families, same-sex relationships, long-distance love and digital-age intimacy.
Those social changes have also brought more open discussion of emotional wellbeing and unhealthy relationship patterns, O’Hara said. Because of that shift, more people are willing to set healthy boundaries.
However, O’Hara cautioned that not every difficult relationship should automatically end in estrangement. Families should consider whether the relationship has become harmful, whether any repair has been attempted and whether something meaningful can still be rebuilt.
Interrelate operates in NSW, Victoria and Queensland and also delivers services nationally online. Each year, the organisation says it reaches more than 169,000 people through more than 30 locations and 450 schools.
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